


Breathe

by EnchantedbookLover18



Series: Change [1]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Depression, F/M, Friendship, I suck at tagging, Loss, Love, Realtionship development, Sadness, Song fic, change, sort of post 17x14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22761670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnchantedbookLover18/pseuds/EnchantedbookLover18
Summary: Just breathe, Ellie thought to herself. Breathe in, breathe out. There were times when the pain and sadness just hit her out of nowhere.
Relationships: Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Series: Change [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636462
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Ok guys, I apologise in advance! This is going to be sad....
> 
> I'll upload more parts soon, so this is NOT the end.
> 
> The song is "Breathe" by Taylor Swift. And this is also my first ever song fic so I hope this works...:D Oh and also this work is totally unedited...
> 
> (please don't hate me now)

_“Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie,_   
_It's the kind of ending you don't really wanna see_   
_'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down,_   
_Now I don't know what to be without you around”_

_Just breathe_ , Ellie thought to herself _. Breathe in, breathe out._ There were times when the pain and sadness just hit her out of nowhere. She could walk around the whole day, a kind smile on her lips, laughing at other people’s jokes, seemingly happy. But she was only pretending, wasn’t she? Nothing felt okay, she wasn’t happy. The people just couldn’t look through her façade. Over the last couple of years she’d done a pretty damn good job at teaching herself how to fake a smile, make people believe she wasn’t affected by anything. Making everyone believe she didn’t care about love after divorcing Jake and losing Quasim. All she really wanted though was to be found by someone who could crack her walls and show her how it feels to be loved again. She was strong, she knew that, and she didn’t _need_ anyone but nonetheless she wanted love. She wanted to experience all the joys of being in love with someone new – to be swept off her feet.

_“I see your face in my mind as I drive away,_   
_'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way_   
_People are people and sometimes we change our minds_   
_But it's killing me to see you go after all this time”_

And then Nick came into her life. She didn’t even realise what hit her – when it hit her. He’d slowly managed to become a big part of her life – as a co-worker, a partner, a friend…her best friend. They’d spent so much time together these last few years that Ellie had gotten used to him being around all of the time. She’d gotten used to his constant presence at her apartment, the text messages they exchanged when they did actually spend time apart. The only explanation she had for not realising her feelings for him sooner was that she felt so comfortable and save with him that she simply hadn’t questioned any of it. Never.

_“And we know it's never simple, never easy_   
_Never a clean break, no one here to save me_   
_You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”_

Now she felt like she’d not only lost the possible love of her life but also her best friend. She felt like she’d lost the only person she could talk to about this. Her confidant, her lighthouse…the rock she could hold onto when the storms got to heavy. Ellie felt like she was suffocating – she couldn’t breathe.

_“It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend_   
_Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me_   
_It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend_   
_Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me_

_And we know it's never simple, never easy_   
_Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh_

_I can't breathe without you, but I have to_  
 _Breathe without you, but I have to_  
 _Breathe”_  
  
So that’s why she stood in the middle of the grocery store – in front of the ice cream to be exact – reminding herself to breathe.

_Breathe, Ellie, breathe. You got this._

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language :)  
> My tumblr is enchantedbooklover18.tumblr.com :)


End file.
